7 ways to building up a good self-image

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Posted by Israelmore Ayivor on 30th July 2013.

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Building a good self-image is like carving an image from wood or molding an artifact from the clay. It passes through deserving characteristics, demanding opportunities and deployment of an individual’s heartfelt wishes to be how he/she best loves to be known.

The Oxford Dictionary of Current English defined self-image as “the idea one has of one’s abilities, appearance, and personality”. A good self-image confines in you a reputable conception about you and makes you to develop confidence in your own worth. A bad self-image on the other hand deforms your expected self, making you full of incapability. A good self-image enhances your internal harmony and that integrates you peacefully into your external environment, preparing and equipping you to actualize the purpose of God in your life. The following tips will guide you to build and maintain a good self-image;

 1.      See yourself as God sees you:

How does God see you? He sees you as he sees human beings when he is about to make them and send them. Think about it. It is very simple; God loves you and sees you as a messenger, sent by him to fulfill an assignment. Don’t hate yourself because it will be like hating what God loves. Hating something that God loves is a sin. God loves you and you cannot in anyway change that attribute of God. Hence, you must love yourself the way you are. See yourself as a tool that God is holding in his dominant hand, ready to do a great work. Prepare your mind and see your own image with an imaginary mindset of God. Keep telling yourself; “If I were not good enough, God wouldn’t have sent me to earth”. Yes! You are good machinery; good enough and better off for something wonderful that is why you were sent to earth.

2.      Repent quickly and free your mind:

Have you ever done something wrongly and it kept hunting your mind from time to time? Your knowledge about your own image comes from your imaginations. How you think of yourself reads to you who you are. Continuous meditation on a bad behaviour you put up recently will only create a yoke of bondage in your heart. This yoke keeps telling you about what a hypocrite you are and that means you can’t have a sincere ego to live a life of freedom. Repent and stay away from sin. When you live a life of a hypocrite, you end up being unsecured and this can kill your conscience with ease. Believe and assure yourself of a sincere repentance when you fall short of the glory of God. Reclaim that glory and spread your wings as if you are a new born bird, ready to fly! You are safe when you have a sincere heart.

3.      Admit that you are not infallible:

One of the most peaceful statements a person can make in his life time is to say; “I am right, but I may be wrong”. That statement honestly known and affirmed will make you humble to admit your mistakes and guide you to correct them with time. You are not infallible; you may make mistakes and that is a fact. By your speeches, actions and thoughts, you may sink into fault by which someone may become offended. You may make wrong choices and go for wrong judgments in terms of business, relationships, and investments and even in fellowship. What you need to do now is to imagine your status through the sight-mind of God. Find where you went wrong and by asking others who are consistently concerned about telling you freely about yourself. Assess yourself from time to time to notice how your steps are offending someone unnecessarily. Learn to say “I am sorry”, if that is what would make peace between you and your offended counterparts. However this attitude should not make you to become excessively timid, apologetic and self-humiliating to the extent that you refuse to speak your mind about some radical issues affecting your disposition and environment.

4.      Set your mind on positive things:

What you progressively think about is what you are likely to appear to be. Filtrate your imaginations and delete negative ideologies and thoughts of less or no productivity. Never waste your thought musing over evil plans; you destroy your self-image if you do so.  Don’t keep and offence in your heart for a longer period. You hurt your emotion if you do so. Hurting your emotion means, you are constructing an attitude whose help will leave you unguided on your path to success. Have a compelling vision that sets your mind on what God can do through you. This is the kind of imagination that sets your brain on restorational purpose of God in your life through the redemptive power of Christ. It is called Holy Meditation. It keeps you far away from things that would make your knowledge about yourself to be dim.

5.      Be moderate, not too low and not too high:

Your physical exposure has a high influence on your mental stability. A person with a very good self-image integrates faithfully through sincere layering and leveling of his or her acceptance into his or her environment. In your speech, never talk too less of your abilities; that is low self-esteem. Don’t talk too high and boastfully about your sole capacity; that is pride. In your appearances, don’t show off to be excessively glittering in costly jewelry in relation to those around you. The concept of self-moderation does not preach mediocrity. Mediocrity is absent when you set your mind on positive things and do all things with all decency. The fact and conclusion is that you need a simple life to go to heaven. The complexity of your earthly array is not a guarantee for a triumphant eternity!

6.      Make friends with people who encourage you:

One of the sweetest spices that sweeten the taste of your self-image is good companionship. As a matter of fact, God did not create you to be alone. That is why relationship is necessary. However, not every relationship is a productive one. The presence of good friends, colleagues and relatives enhances your meaningfulness in your environment. Imagine you are the only person on this earth just like Adam was in the beginning of the world. Life would be boring for you. A meaningful life is experienced on the laps of socialization, good interpersonal relationship, and communication. These help you be connected with people of like-minds and that stabilizes your peaceful co-existences and harmony in life.

7.      Give compliments to others freely:

You are entitled to your gifts and talents and that is the source of your success on earth. You should however avoid looking down on people because they can’t do what you do. Everyone is a leader in his or her area of specialization, hence the fact that someone may not do what you do means you may also not have the capability to do what someone does. Cultivate the habit of giving compliments to people who deserve it. Breakdown the walls of unhealthy ego and negativity that may only make you to think you are the better than everyone else beside you. With this, you will live a life without holding any negative impression about others.

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Remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said that “no one can make you feel inferior without your permission”. You have the right to keep offences in you or ignore them. You have the right to feel good about your own identity and be happy with what you have or have seen.

  • Stop comparing yourself to others. It will either make you too proud of yourself if you see them to be too low or it will make you to feel too low when you rate them to be high.
  • Stop saying negative things about yourself. You deserve to be great and you must. Encourage yourself in every situation.
  • Stop regurgitating over your bad conducts. They are real, but you must be able to repent quickly and have your inward liberty.

May God help you to build up and maintain an image in his likeness. Live life so well.

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Do you want to change your life, family, city, country and go beyond your country to effect a positive change in the entire world? It is possible.

There are books which were strategically written to inspire the reader with positive thinking strategies, character building opportunities, talent optimization tips and dynamic guiding principles that would help him or her to take pragmatic actions and follow a God-guided direction for the accomplishment of his or her visions.

Buy your online amazon copy NOW!

You can order for other inspirational books online such as

  1. Believe & Achieve- Series 1 (10 Big Lessons for everyday life)
  2. Michelangelo, Beethoven, Shakespeare (15 things common to great Achievers)
  3. You must be who God said you must be- Series 1 (12 biblical exhortations)
  4. Turning the Unturned (Top 10 leadership laws)
  5. Dunamis, a dynamic power to cause change (series 1)

View all the books by the same author. Click here

Want to be friends? Connect Israelmore Ayivor on Facebook.

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7 steps to dealing with the fear of starting to live your dream

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Posted by Israelmore Ayivor on 30th July 2013.

Fear, according to someone’s interpretation is “False Impressions Appearing Real” (F.E.A.R). This is a true expression of the fears that prevents people from releasing their true potentials in life. However, the word “fear” could have many other interpretations that could be related to different concepts. According to the Oxford Advance Learner’s Dictionary, fear “is the bad feeling that you have when you are in danger, when something bad happen or when a particular thing frightens you”. This tells that “fear” in a general term is a bad attitude and could be exhibited before, during and after an adventure.

People cannot start living their true dreams because of fear and this means as long as that fear is not dealt with, they will remain dreamers but not dream workers. They express their fears in statements like; “I am not sure this will succeed”, “what if it couldn’t work?”, “my master will be angry”, “I am not yet qualified” etc. That is a real fear. In the parable of the talents, Jesus Christ taught about how fear makes a person not to use his or her talents. In that parable, all the people who were given talents made the best use of them except this man who confessed; “….I was afraid and went and hid your talent in the ground…” Matthew 25v25. Can you see the fear in this man? He feared to optimize the talents his master gave him because he was afraid of the circumstances he would find himself in if he should not make interests on his talents because his master was a “strict master”. This was truly a “false impression appearing real” in his mind.

You can do great things when you start. Every great ending had a humble beginning. But the beginning seems to be more difficult than the continuation. What makes people who dream about great things not to be able to start living their dreams? Why are all your thoughts sitting in the ink of the paper while they should be standing in the shoes of passion and be walking on the plans of action? These seven (7) basic steps will give you a concise exposure to do what you feared to begin;

 1.    Be fully convinced about what you want to do:

The basic source of passion towards following the path to a decision made is to be well assured that what you are about to do is truly supported by God. If you are not fully convinced, there is absolutely no conviction. If you are convinced about the goals ahead, you are likely to conquer;

  • The fear of not being instantly good at doing things.
  • The fear of being left stranded due to impending obstacles.
  • The fear of staying too long on the unaccomplished task
  • The fear of the unknown.

However, if you eventually conquer the fear of starting something, you will automatically swerve the torments of the “fear of the unattempted”. This is the kind of fear that can make you worry about what you have not yet done, especially if you see someone doing it. It is a source of enviousness, a bad attitude that makes poor leaders fail. Ensure that you have an encounter with the source of your visions (Jehovah) and you will be convinced to start without fears.

 2.      Start in a small way:

If you always want to dream big and start big, you are likely to give up because of unexpected results that will haunt your dream plans. It is either you don’t start at all and suffer from the fears of the unattempted or you start in a little way and conquer it. You must however know that it is one thing starting small and continuing in that small way over a long period and starting small, growing big and reaching high. People who start small and cannot excel higher also have many sorts of factors affecting them among which the fear of failing can be traced.

If you want to remain progressively on tract, you got to believe that risk taking must become the rest of your passion because you are leaving the known into the unknown things. Make big plans, but dissociate them into chew-able stuffs that can help you to reach higher heights with little steps.

 3.       Find no flimsy excuse:

There are three kinds of people who have not yet started doing what they want to do;

  • Those who have not yet thought of what they should do,
  • Those thought of it but do not have the plans to do it,
  • Those who made the plans and kept them on the paper.

They all have one thing in common and that is to simply say, they have not started doing anything yet. If a dream will find its due course, it got to find its due paths. But excuses from people who are not likely to succeed are the main barriers on the paths of the dreams. If you are going to live the dreams you dream about you must not be a chronic giver of excuses. If you think most of your excuses are real, you are not right because majority of them stem up from the fear of acting. A person who is shy, when called to join an evangelism team to preach to people many say; “I have lectures today”. A further investigation will reveal that she does not really have lectures at that moment, but the fear of action had nailed her to give such an excuse. If you don’t find a passion for your dreams, you will find excuses. If you refuse to let excuses bind you, you will reach your desired dreams.

4.       Believe that going back is difficult than climbing on:

It is more dangerous to descend on a mountain with backward steps than to climb up. When you have this thought in mind, you will face the task ahead than thinking of quitting. When you start enjoying the benefits of what you do, you will remember the power of starting. Take a step of trial and you will ever wish to be taking that step. However it is not guaranteed that success is in the first attempt. First attempts just like any other attempt can easily fail. But it takes your focus on the success of a successful step and the torment of going back to keep you on track no matter what makes the first attempt to fail. The fact that some people are doing what they decided to do is a proof that you can also succeed only if you start. Never give up.

5.      Have a focus on the destination:

It is very easier if you set your mind on the destination of your journey than musing over the beginning. If you see yourself gone, your attitude will be tuned to taking action. If you fear the future, you are likely to remain in the present state. However, the future is brighter depending on the dreams you have for it. Why not dream brighter dreams and avoid the fear of losing a reputable future. By the dreams, you establish your future and by the actions you take, you migrate into it.

Think about the dreams you dream and never let the thoughts of the dangers of starting haunt you. Be sure you are taking the right steps because right steps lead to right destinations. Don’t allow the thoughts of your mind to contradict the plans on your paper. It is one thing putting it on paper that you are going to start and another thing to think that it is not going to be possible. When it goes that way, your mind rules over the plans you made.

6.      Be radical and dare to do it:

Excellence is never an accident. Success is never luck. If you really want to do what you want to do, you got to dare. Daring means, you stand firm and bold, courageous and passionate enough to persist and try hard to win. People who dare always press hard onto reaching the target. They make every attempt to lose the sight of fearful obstacles and deliberately plan to conquer what is the most difficult thing they had ever faced.

Every radical attempt has risks. People who achieve are moved by passion to dare and they are not people who easily complain of suffering and tiredness. They are prepared to face the risk if it comes and that is the only way out. You can’t sit down in the mess of fear and think you will sail though with success.

7.      Affirm positively:

Positive affirmations are positive things we say about ourselves that can make us to develop passion towards our goals. It is believed that what you frequently say about yourself goes a long way to create a specific image about you. Your self-esteem shows how you see yourself to be and what you know you can do with what you have. On the tongue lies the power of life and death, says the scripture. What you say about yourself as a beginner can drive away all fears of starting to move with your dreams.

Avoid claiming you are not good enough to be a success. Stop making statements like “I am a failure”, “I can’t do it”, “It is difficult for me”, “I am poor”, I am not qualified”, etc. Tell yourself that you have the power to do exceedingly, abundantly above all that you can ever think of because it’s God’s Holy Spirit who works in you.

 

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People who do not do something because of the fear of beginning it remain doing nothing. However their refusal to do something because of their fears does not mean that the fear is gone. It means, it will graduate into something else. When the fear of not starting cripples you until it dealt with you very well, you suffer from the “fear of the unattempted” as you begin to accuse yourself for the things left undone.” When you see someone doing what you know you could have done better, you end up becoming bitter within yourself. When your bitterness is in aid of self-accusation, you will eventually develop low self-image; but when the bitterness is related to the other progressing friend, you end up becoming jealous.

Bitterness, jealousy and low-self-esteem are all bad attitudes that can ruin your life. Unfortunately the harm of “fear” is greater than them all. Deal with your fears and live life so well.

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Do you want to change your life, family, city, country and go beyond your country to effect a positive change in the entire world? It is possible.

There are books which were strategically written to inspire the reader with positive thinking strategies, character building opportunities, talent optimization tips and dynamic guiding principles that would help him or her to take pragmatic actions and follow a God-guided direction for the accomplishment of his or her visions.

Buy your online amazon copy NOW!

You can order for other inspirational books online such as

  1. Believe & Achieve- Series 1 (10 Big Lessons for everyday life)
  2. Michelangelo, Beethoven, Shakespeare (15 things common to great Achievers)
  3. You must be who God said you must be- Series 1 (12 biblical exhortations)
  4. Turning the Unturned (Top 10 leadership laws)
  5. Dunamis, a dynamic power to cause change (series 1)

View all the books by the same author. Click here

Want to be friends? Connect Israelmore Ayivor on Facebook.

How to avoid taking offences

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-Posted by Israelmore Ayivor on 18th July 2013.

 
Dunamis, a dynamic ability to Cause Change (Series 1) by Israelmore Ayivor

ImageAn offence is an emergency that easily surfaces when a person does not get what he wants or he gets what he does not want .The presence of an offence can re-direct a person’s attitude into a negative format. Negative attitudes such as anger, greediness, chaos, regret as the lot gain their source from offensive projection. How then can a person deal with an incoming offensive status?

What should a person do when others behaviour towards him tends to affect his state of positive internal harmony? How can you balance your anchor in the storm of offence? The following tips will provide you with seven (7) major tips that will guide you to avoid being influenced by offensive emergencies.

 

1. Perceive people positively;

Mostly, offence comes as a result of false gossips that people spread about others. A person who get offended by hearing about a bad behaviour of another person may make statement like ‘ I  never knew he is like that”, “I thought he is such a good person”, etc. The moment you perceive someone wrongly, any little mistake from the person is being printed in extra-large fonts and marginalized. Try and get to know people very well not through conversations of their enemies, but by testing the sincerity of their love for you. Think of everyone as fallible, meaning someone may do a wrong thing unwillingly. Getting offended over something someone did is as a mistake as a profitless waste of one’s emotions.

 

2. Practically separate yourself;

You are likely to exhibit regretful behaviour when you easily get offended by people’s actions. Regretful behaviour is what you put up now and latter say ‘had I known’! ‘Had I known is a statement that an offended person would have avoided by quickly taking his mind and body if possible off from the source of his offences. All the water in the river cannot sink the boat unless they get inside. Don’t wait till offences enter you and sink you to do a wrong thing. Have an absolute differentiation of your emotional status and your inner sense of being. Realize that your opinions are not you. This conceptual frame of mind will save you from being depressed. When you are insulted to be the type of person you are not, you will be offended if you take it into you as it affects your emotions. The reality is that, you were insulted to be “stupid”. But your sense of being must tell you that you are wise and wonderfully made. This thought in you about your positive self will create a broad way for offences to bypass.

 

3. Poses that “Special humility”;

When a person is truly born again, he poses a peculiar type of humility that makes him talk with responsibility. You can get offended by what you hear and you can multiply the offence by what you say in your reaction. That is why Bible said; “…harsh words stir up anger” (Prov. 15v1). It is unwise for someone to see you doing the wrong thing and start confronting you; “why are you behaving so stupidly like this”. That statement is already offensive, unkempt and unwise. But it will be wiser on your side to answer in a wise manner that “I am sorry”. That keeps the offensive toxins from the mouth of the offender neutralized. Lack of that “special humility” in most people is the result of conflict in churches, families and societies as people are not gifted with it through a sincere re-birth.

 

4. Believe in the “truth”, not the “fact”;

Facts are judgmental concessions while the truth is a divine claim. The fact could be that you are hungry, but the truth is that you are not poor. Settle that in your life and it will save you. It you do not disintegrate that fact from the truth; you will easily be carried away by offences and end up becoming hopeless. The fact could be that someone called you a wild name, for instance that “you have a very big head”. The truth is that you are a wonderful creature. The fact is that someone destroys your sense of peace; but the truth (the way, the truth and the life) is that Christ loves and you must love everyone, including those who drive you crazily. You can’t love someone if you allow yourself to be offended by what the person says or does. The truth is backed by Christ’s mindset while facts are from humans’ judgment or culture.

 

5. Exercise self-control;

Self-control is a weapon that prevents you from doing what your spirit doesn’t like. Your body and soul can easily get attracted to things that annoy your spirit. This means, naturally, you have a divide battle against yourself. Imagine you, fighting against YOU. One battle going on within oneself; that is it. Self-control is a weapon of victory that keeps the triune man in internal harmony. When your emotion is wounded by someone’s disposition, self-control keeps you away from reacting to the offence. Such an offence may bring a gap of tension between your spirit and your flesh. You cannot do anything about how you feel, but you can do something about how you act. Control your ambitions and you will live life so well. People who rub bitter words on you always create friction. Their frictions are the beginning of blazing fire flames. Don’t be the wind fanning their flames. Don’t contribute to making someone get offended as well.

 

6. Pass on the judgmental hammer;

Many a times, chaos starts as an argument; continues as a conflict and grows into war. The seed of this war as we can see is that seed; argument. An argument can be interpersonal (between people) or intra-personal (within you). You may start whispering; “so that is what they about me” or get musing; “I must prove this people wrong”. All these arguments in your mind may make you to plan proving your case. It is not wrong to prove that you are right, but that must be done in such a way so as not to breed more offences. Vengeance is the Lord’s; he deserved the judgment hammer, therefore pass it unto him and save for yourself the energy with which you will need to strike it.

 

7. Put on Christ’s shoes;

Forgiveness is the entire attitude of Christ. When He is assaulted 100 times, He forgives 101 times because He forgives even before the offence is being created. Christ has created footprints in which we are expected to walk if we call ourselves “CHRISTIANS”. We can only walk in those footprints is we pose His attitude, not holding on recent offences of people. Even at the time when people threatened him with personal word of offences, he passed on the judgment hammer by saying “father, forgive them”. Do you know how precious you are to God? Do you know that most of the people who attempt to put bitterness into your heart do not know what they are doing? Yes! That’s why you must forgive because “they don’t know what they are doing”.

 

You are too precious to debate yourself at the bank of offences where no interest is generated. Storms may come, hard times will pass, waves will move, grounds may shake, but your anchor must hold in those storms of life. Live at peace with all, and stay away from the bitter harm of taking offences.

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Dunamis, a dynamic ability to cause change- Series 1 (Online book):

 

Do you want to change your life, family, city, country and go beyond your country to effect a positive change in the entire world? It is possible. The book “Dunamis, a dynamic ability to cause change” is one of the inspirational books by Israelmore Ayivor to put you on track toward your destiny.

 

This book was strategically written to inspire the reader with positive thinking strategies, character building opportunities, talent optimization tips and dynamic guiding principles that would help him or her to take pragmatic actions and follow a God-guided direction for the accomplishment of his or her visions.

 

The first series is a compilation of Seven (7) expository inspirational articles which were thoughtfully written, 101 exceptional built and tested principles, 35 most self-examinable questions, excellent presentations of quotations from great achievers and spiritual illustrations from the scope of the Holy Bible. 

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